I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
