I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
