I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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