Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
