Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
