im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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