Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
