nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
