Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
