At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
did i just pee glitter
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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