Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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