I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
