omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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