We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
