We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
