Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
