This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
