possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
