I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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