drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My breath smells like gin and sadness
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
