Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
