Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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