It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize