sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
