I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
