Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
