Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
