Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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