I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize