Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
