i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
