oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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