Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
