69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
