R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
