I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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