Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
she looked like the before picture.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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