we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
God, I missed his penis.
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