last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
