Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
