she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
