the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
