Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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