Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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