unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
is this the sara with the beer cane?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
