Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
