Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize