Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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