He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
