Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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