that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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