i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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