Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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