hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
