We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
