hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
