It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
