we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
