His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
