tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
