I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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