it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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