so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
