Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
