I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
