Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
