I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
