Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
