He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
